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    December 11

    小小肝胆(十)

        没想到随心而记的模式却变成了固定的月记载,这样也好,省却了自己的负担和不自觉。随心积累、随时而动……
       
        我确实想把这里作为自己大吐苦水的地方,但这么做却没有什么值得尊崇或快意的地方。何况我也不希望将题目由小小肝胆变为大大牢骚什么的,所以大部分的考虑最后不过是“于是乎”了。
       
        其实更多时候并不是因为懒惰而不常更新,只是将纸铺开之后却不知应写什么能让自己感到满意的东西。曾经有人说过,要想借于这种载体来舞文弄墨的话,那除“批评”二字无他了。细想之下不难理解,此处无非就是针对一个人或者一件事来说吐口水、发牢骚、讲评论的地方,如果真是非要背道而写些什么小说之类的话,难免因缺少支持和心气而坚持不住的……
       
        可是,自己又偏偏的不希望“评论”,无论是人还是事,都觉得是与我无关的。哈,可悲的自己,觉得都是与自己无关?做不到“忧国忧民”?那就只能干对着这纸笔发呆了,也算是一种活该吧。
       
        所以又回到了“于是乎”,于是乎我总是围绕着笔端的内容在翻来覆去的咀嚼着,说的总是该写什么或不该写什么。呼,一个“写”字差不多把我所有的笔墨占去了,也应了黔驴技穷的道理。但自己还总是不甘心,认为自己还是有些许本事的,那么,更多的时候,自己是为文而文的。
       
        为文而文的文字难免风月。其实我想追求的是一种类似于懒洋洋的爱情般的懒洋洋的文字,可是发展到现在,文字的确是变“懒”了,懒得都已经没有文字了,所以产生了大段大段的空白。然而空白并非真空,纸上是空白的,但我的确看得见游走于空白纸端上方的笔,久久不能落下,久久不能记载,久久不能随心……
       
        算是一次反思吧,我究竟该写些什么呢?写些罗罗嗦嗦的牢骚供自己发泄,还是写些文字供后人揣摩?现在看来,也是无所谓的了。
       
        于是乎,于是乎……

    Comments (2)

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    伟 郑wrote:
    好一个月记啊 希望不要继续变成季记啊
    Dec. 19
    Satty Liwrote:
    于是乎,于是乎,来看我姐夫。
    Dec. 12

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